Facing Flames feat. Guilda
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Facing Flames feat. Guilda *
A journey through loss and creation
Backstory
Exactly 2 years ago, I was literally helped back on my feet by beautiful kind humans. Some had hugs to give, some had heartwarming messages, some had money and some had a spare toothbrush. The method of giving wasn’t the important part, the love was. I learnt what real unconditional giving is and also what it means to be on the receiving end whilst not have a choice in the matter.
Eventually with Guilda’s help, I started to internalise the entire experience and write about it in the way that I most naturally express myself; I wrote & recorded an album. This would be my way of “giving back”, my thank you.
12 songs - one for each of Guilda’s strings, who together with each of you, inspired & enabled me to get back on my feet and do the one thing I know I want to do till the day I die; write & sing songs.
Here’s the record, available on all platforms. From the bottom of my heart, thank you all ❤️
How We Got Here
Microdoc by Batsi Hansen: Meet Guilda
Israel Portnoy is an artist, singer-songwriter, multi-instrumentalist, producer, and “once-a-year-Cantor” hailing from Hale, Cheshire, UK, and currently residing in the land of his namesake, Israel. His first solo project, a concept album named “Facing Flames feat. Guilda” launched May 23, 2020, with its title-track, (lead-single) alongside an inspiring music video. The date commemorates the one year anniversary of a forest fire that destroyed everything he owned and burned through Mevo Modi’im, a village in central Israel where Portnoy lived at the time. His entire musical instrument collection and countless books of lyrics, journals and poetry, and recorded music were obliterated within hours and without prior warning. The only thing he was left with was “Guilda” - his vintage ‘63 12-string guitar, which he had taken with him as he left his house earlier that day. Having lost so much, “Guilda” eventually became his well-needed pivot to reconnect him back with the world and inspire him to write once again.
Guilda’s Prelude
It was a hot day, about 11 months ago, and I hadn't touched "Guilda" (my vintage 12-string guitar) in about a month. You would think I would have, considering she was literally all I owned (and if you know me, you'll know I do like guitar and music quite a bit, so why wouldn't?!). The thing is, I was too wrapped up in the loss of everything. A month earlier (exactly a year ago today in the Hebrew calendar) a forest fire had brunt down our village and thankfully, I had left the house unintentionally holding Guilda so I did have something. Maybe I couldn't bring myself to play her as I could sense some kind of survivor's guilt syndrome. Or perhaps it was because I was numb and struggling to deal with the loss of everything. The thought of trying to make music so soon after losing so much was sickening honestly. I don't know what was different about this particular day, but I decided to just pick her up and hear what she had to say. Yup, maybe for the first time in my life, just get out of the way of the instrument and let her speak. I know that sounds potentially ridiculous to a non-musician, and it may be, but it's also true. It wasn't difficult because I literally had nothing to say anyway and wondered if I ever would again. But I so desperately needed to hear this instrument sing again. And so.. I picked her up and walked onto the wooden deck in this strange foreign-feeling, temporary, displaced-person commune where we had all be moved to till we figured out what the next move was. I sat down and got out of the way for 10 minutes. And this melody instantly fell out of her. I didn't judge it. I didn't "try" to make something, and I didn't dare sing over it. And just like that, I was alive again! Through the grace of Guilda (and some help from God), my creative juices were flowing again, and this concept album was born. This little prelude contains hope, sadness, and perhaps even some lament, over being the only surviving member of a thriving music room of beautiful instruments. So I figured it would be appropriate to go back to the same, now music-cemetery to record this video.
Backporch Blues
One of the first feelings I deeply resonated with after the shock of losing our home (in wahat started out as a forest-fire), was the idea that I was able to find a deep sense of comfort in connecting to a greater universal sense of loss - a human blues if you will. This, in turn, connected me to something beyond myself and my limited personal experience. It's not that a sense of empathy with others invalidates your own suffering, or even diminishes it. Instead, it brings you back to a place of consciousness that reinforces that what you are going through is a part of the greater human experience. You are never alone in your suffering and that we are indeed "just human too". With that in mind, It felt right that "Backporch Blues" would be the first single I'd release from this concept-album "Facing Flames (feat Guilda)". I went back to the house with Basti Hansen to get an album-cover shot and some footage of what remained. When we were done, we had 10 mins left, and he literally fought against the sunset as I sat in the spot where my wooden back porch where I would sit and write songs.
Life Before Death
I wrote this song after losing everything physically owned. This forced me to dig deep and search for what we actually have beyond physical possessions in this material world. I arrived at the realization that as humans, we continually strive to make a positive footprint on planet earth so that when we die, we are not entirely forgotten. Maybe this is why at such challenging and uncertain times, we see the best of humanity. Perhaps a part of us is thinking that if we are potentially going to die, we should squeeze in some final acts of goodness so that we can leave behind our gifts to the universe.
Facing Flames
This is the title track off of my debut (solo) album which is out now. Music & Lyrics Written by Israel Portnoy, Cello by Yoed Nir, Bass by Evyatar “Eddy” Kirsch, Backing Vocals: & Malka Russell & Ari Wenig , Produced & Recorded at: House of Light Studios, Additional Recording at: Mendy Portnoy Studios, Mixed By: Ben Wallick, Mastered by: Ronen Hillel.
Kind of Greenery
Most of the album is admittedly quite intense, so I felt like putting a visual to something which is a little lighter. “Kind of Greenery” was born out of a realization that I needed to return to nature to heal (after going through the intense experience of losing everything that I owned in a wildfire that tore down our homes and the gorgeous surrounding forest of the village I was living in). I began to miss my daily trolls and writing sessions in the majestic nature with which I’d formed an emotional/spiritual bond. We had all been moved to temporary housing (whilst we figured out what the future held) and I was feeling a little stuck, as I was not getting out enough…. maybe even a little (subconsciously) done with nature for a little while (fire, after all, is nature too). There may have also been an element of me avoiding the things that I know heal me the most because healing isn’t an easy thing right? Anyway, so there I was, sitting on the bed in this new strange place and I suddenly stumbled on this guitar riff from months earlier during a forest writing-session. At the time, I thought it sounded too much like something else so I didn’t take it seriously enough to think much of it but I did record a voice note of it (before forgetting about it entirely). Something about the playfulness of it was calling me back and I knew I had to take Guilda (my sole-surviving guitar) out to this new nature and see where this little riff would take us. Turns out it has been quite the bridge between my ‘pre-fire’ world and my “post-fire” one. The week after we filmed this music video (which is shot in the Jerusalem hills, the backyard of my new home), a wildfire broke out here too! We were evacuated immediately and through miracles - after 3 raging days of wildfire, we were safe. The wind swept it out of our village and this time around, our homes were not destroyed. Unfortunately, so much nature (including much of the nature which we filmed I this video only a week earlier!) is now destroyed. As you can imagine, this song now has an even deeper meaning to me. The Nature has been slowly coming back, replenishing itself day by day and I try and get out to see it every day to be there for her healing process, just like nature was there for me and mine. If you have read this far, Thank you! X
Looking for Jah
Firstly, before I go off on a ramble and risk you not seeing the important stuff, I’ll start by saying that this song (and the whole record) would not sound the way it does without the super-talented soulful musicians* who I was literally blessed with having on this record. Benny Weill, Yogev Glusman, Yoav Arbel Ari Jacob Malka Henna Russell, Avior Rokah Ron Gavriely Ohad Darshan Ben Wallick and Connor Samoral. Each of you inspire me with your art and took this whole record to a level it would not have reached without you. THANK YOU.
Now for the ramble…. Growing up, as a child in school we were taught about a God who was an invisible man in the sky who seemed to be sometimes happy, sometimes sad but most strangely he was often angry or on the verge of anger. It was very important you didn’t anger this invisible man we called God. From a very young age, it seemed strange to me that this invisible human had such human tendencies and primitive emotions. It was like he was almost a child. Why couldn’t he at least be a bit more understanding (and at the very least behave like an adult!?). Whilst I didn’t voice it to anyone at the time, by the time I was 9 I knew I didn’t believe in this God. I then spent a chunk of the following decade, unlearning that version of God and since then, I’ve enjoyed the challenge and life’s journey of redefining God/Godliness/Hashem/Jah/Universe/infinity/the divine/the aibishter/etc etc and with that, faith. I use all these names to point out that it really doesn’t matter what we call it/how you relate to it because essentially we’re just putting human names to something to try to help ourselves comprehend something entirely infinite (on our limited human level) Whilst this definition has and continues to evolve for me in my God-relationship and this vast concept, one fundamental always remains: We all originate from the same source, as does everything in our universe and we are all connected in unity through this source. With that in mind, if we live by this (whilst easier said than done), if I hurt a fellow human or my surroundings/the planet, I am ultimately hurting myself as we are all the same at our core/source level. Often in life, if we go though challenging times or changes which are complex to navigate, we want answers to help ease the hardship. It’s only natural as humans that we want to understand. After our fire on Moshav Mevo Modin (which ultimately inspired this record), I found myself in those moments, subconsciously reverting back to the child mindset and in my frustration and quest for solutions I wondered WHY?! Why me? How?! And then I when the shock passes and I could think and feel again, I remembered that God isn’t an invisible man with human tendencies or rationale and that we will never have the answers for so much of what we go through in this life and that’s ok. (Told you it would be a ramble…. Anyway, these were some of the thoughts behind this song.